I cant believe I am saying this. I "Ferberize" my babies. If you would've asked me a month ago, I wouldve given you a lecture on Erik Erikson's trust vs mistrust issue. Yes, I took my psychology too seriously. I couldnt say it often enough, its against my biology to let them cry. But I am at my wits end. I need to teach them to sleep.
My pediatrician told me to let them cry on their 6 month's visit. But I didnt do it, its not something that we practice in our culture. We co-sleep and we don't let babies cry. But I am alone. I have no help and my patience is wearing out. I spread myself too thin that literally it shows in my body weight. I haven't seen my clavicle since I was in high school!
I did my research. I am by the books in everything. I have no parents nor friends who are here physically with me who can lend me a manual. And as it turned out, there's no conclusive evidence that CRY IT OUT( CIO) has any adverse effect on babies. Although, attachment parenting proponents advocate anti-CIO, their thesis on this issue has something to do with "bonding".
It took me 8 months to decide on sleep training. What broke the last straw? Exhaustion. Fatigue. Mental exasperation. I take care of the babies all day and although I love them more than life itself, I get tired at the end of the day. I want night time to be my time. I want to be able to rest and sleep. No matter how hard I thought about it, I couldn't be a good mum if I am always cranky to my babies--- thats not the kind of mother I imagined myself to be. Something has to be done.
I waited till after Halloween. Kevin and I were already dragging our feet for too long. Time to face our own worst enemy-- our own self doubt. I don't want to second-guess myself on this.
We planned it out, set a strategy and then did it. I admit it was torture. The hardest thing I ever had to do-- listen to babies crying. They said it could last for 2-3 hours. but thank god it only took them 40 minutes. For someone who always responded to every babies' whim, it was the longest 40 minutes of my life. AND IT WAS JUST THE FIRST DAY.
I just hope that this is all worth it. I miss cuddling them at night. But I am teaching them a skill. Skill that would let them have a good and longer sleep. Sleep is to the brain what exercise is to the body.
We still have a lot of rice to eat.... this is just the beginning but I don't regret the decision of giving in to this.
In my effort to feel better about doing it, I found this http://www.redorbit.com/news/video/science_2/1112700726/crying-babies-debate-092512/
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